After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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