you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
