tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
