i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
