i jhust puked up my retainher.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
