I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
3 2 1 whiskey
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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