I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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