We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
