i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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