That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize