Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
