that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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