I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
