how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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