On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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