what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
