He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
