What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
