I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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