I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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