I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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