I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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