Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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