In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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