New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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