yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
