So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
