Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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