I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
