is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Randomize
