Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's rum buckets o'clock
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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