I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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