I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
