This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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