whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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