The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
We smell like vodka and hangover
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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