And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
