Me too!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I think I just shit out all my problems.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
