Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
