My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
