Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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