Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
