Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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