Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
