My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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