going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
