Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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