Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
