I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
