So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
