dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize