Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
