nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
