I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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