So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
