Jerry, you need to find god
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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