yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
