please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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