biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
