I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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