Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize