1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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