He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I have post one night stand depression
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