ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
