i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
