I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
