Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
